All Men Are Bastards : Discuss

It is a salient lesson to learn that blokes are all, by default, bastards. Some don't mean to be, some set out to be exactly that & some teeter on the fence before falling into the 'B' pit that is conveniently located on both sides. So gentlemen, before you get out of your prams & rail against such a slanderous accusation, remember you're screwed before you open your mouths & we'll all save ourselves a fortnight. No-one is gonna thank you for being considerate & neither will they thank you for being an arsehole. It's a tightrope you'll walk for the rest of your life. Deal with it & shut the fuck up...

Ms W very sweetly 'left her phone running' last night at a Sebastian Horsley spoken word thing somewhere in London town (apparently I live there but I've seen scant evidence of this as of yet) & it got me thinking as I sat in pyjamas in my latest digs. Mr H has somehow managed to embrace his bastardhood & make himself popular into the bargain. Bill Hicks did the same. And the 'nice' ones, the Hugh Grants of this world, are also bastards (at least I think he is, judge for yourselves). Do you see where this is going? Probably Rome, & all roads lead there. If I had more time I'd prove it to you with bits of sellotape & graph paper but as I'm in a pub with the worst wireless in the West I'm not going to bother. Instead I'll go back, have a raw cauliflower & one third of a bottle of red wine for my dinner & pretend what's in here makes enough sense to publish. Which it does not...